


Him

by ry_996



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Action, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 00:04:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18457373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ry_996/pseuds/ry_996
Summary: "He was the one who try to keeping me inside of loop but i always rejecting him because what i am... now, that i no longer have anyone that bind me to this work, is it egoist for me to use him as reason to make me continue fighting?"





	Him

_Today we lost yet another friend of ours. There is no luck about escaping this place yet but our exploration team atleast managed to comeback alive today. We gain more to draw on our map. We.. will try a bigger exploration tomorrow. In case any of you want to join, we will do training early in the morning. Please contact me or kiryuu for that._

 

Neither of that news actually bother him. His heart... is still died--he don't even know if his heart ever alive but now, all he care about is just...  
  
Burying him.  
  
His one and only master.  
  
There is no tears to shed. There is now voice to scream, he don't even remember how many day has passed since his master died, he only remember to clean him up and putting on his best shirt.  
  
He spent entire day yesterday to making the coffin, totally gone out of the loop.. not even bother with the new pair system or whatever bullshit people start to do.  
  
Why now? When 1/4 of them already died.  
Why now? Why not since beginning where he try to take up the voice and lead them.  
  
He is aware that he merely a servant. Don't even bother talking about leading because His voice itself isn't mean to be count in any kind of vote--  
  
But why he bother that time?  
  
Because of _him_ ?  
  
Yeah, probably. Watching _him_ so eager to save everyone. Yuzuru wonder what actually happen in _his_ mind. But whatever it was.. it did drove him to step forward. To do the same. To use whatever he know to save everyone.  
  
But thanks for one mess..  
  
Yuzuru decide to retreated from the frontline. He resort to just protect his master, to the point where he almost completely out of the loop. But even so... in the end.. Yuzuru still lost him. The killer--or whoever setting them up in this place is smarter than he thought. Now that he failed everything? What else he should do?  
  
He is too late to get in the loop.  
His master is no longer here.  
  
After he buried him..  
  
He is just a free man with dog tag,  
A servant with no master.

Trash.  
  
...  
  
Yuzuru get up from the hole after he closed the coffin. Tori deserve better, but this is the best he could give to him. He is about to put back the dirt when he heard the shovel against dirt next to him.  
  
Its _him_ .  
  
Yuzuru try to not care about that and just finish his work, he put on the flowers he gathered around on tori's gave and that stone. even though he can, Yuzuru have no intention on leaving this camp anymore. He know that he supposed to at least.. take his punishment over his inability of protecting tori but its not the reason he don't want to go back. But simply, he feel like there is no point for him to going back if tori is buried here.  
  
He sat there once he done. Laying next to tori's grave and watching him taking care of whoever that body is.  
  
_"I have a plan, i need to talk to you tonight"_ _  
_ _"No. Ibara i told you. I need to take care of young master"_

  
_"There is something i need to tell you"_ _  
"Later, when i'm available"_

  
_"Yuzuru... kakka is dead. I almost killed someone"  
"....just toss away that knife Ibara.. people are scared of you. You can't help them looking like that"_

  
_"Is there even any point to be kind when everyone don't even hear my voice?"  
".........doesnt equal its fine for you to go apeshit too"_

  
_"I'm sorry.. about himemiya"_  
 _"..........just go away"_  
  
_They... barely even talk. Now that his mind is blank, he only think about what he see._  
  
_Ibara.._  
  
_Even after he lost two person he close to, strangely he still decide to stand up and do something for them. Why.. he worked that hard? The only person he close to that still alive are those people he hate right? But why he try this hard? Why dont he just leave everyone here and save himself?_  
  
_Yuzuru doesn't understand._  
  
_What happened to him after he left..? What changed him..?_  
  
_Up until now he never show that interest, he never ask his condition. Even Though Ibara is basically the only one other than tori that filled his childhood, when they meet again. He changed too much, too much for Yuzuru to even reacted properly on him._  
  
_All he can see is that.. at least he is doing fine. He reached his little goal to crafting his name over a system, ruling things, even bathing in money before he died. Though he sometimes wonder.. if that's everything that he genuinely wants?_  
  
_Their position and their condition forced Yuzuru to build up wall between them. He never show any kind of concern regarding Ibara as if he never even existed in his life, simply because his job forced him to only care about one person. Tenshouin Eichi was enough abnormality that he needs to care about because tori loved him so much._  
  
_But now both are no longer here._  
  
_"Ugh..."_  
  
_!!!_  
  
_Yuzuru blinks fast for second before he realize what he see was right. It was too sudden for him to react, Ibara suddenly fall to the hole while putting back the dirt after he put in the body._  
  
_He immediately stands up to check on him. He found that boy struggling to get up, keep coughing too. Without words Yuzuru get in the hole and helped him to get out. It's not that hard because Ibara already half-filled the hole_  
  
_"Just stay there" Yuzuru told him to sit near the tree as he finish what Ibara did._  
  
_Once he done he get back to Ibara and checking his condition. Ibara didn't stop coughing even once since he left him. That makes Yuzuru worried. He never really see Ibara like that--at least now days because he is sure Ibara always the one never miss taking care of himself because he is aware that he is the head of everything in his arms._  
  
_He seems really bad. Obvious cold, his body is trembling and he looks pale. "Can you even stand..?"_  
  
_Ibara nodded. He tried to stand but end up falling on Yuzuru._  
  
_"Foolish" Yuzuru sighed. He picked Ibara up. He might need to do proper examination like this.. because it didn't seems like a normal cold. He brought Ibara to his room because he simply don't want to talk to other people now._  
  
_'Don't you dare dying on me Ibara'_  
  
_._  
  
_Yuzuru put Ibara on his bed. He take his suitcase and getting all the basic medical needs that he carry “Ibara talk to me, do you have any injury?” he asked, trying to keep Ibara awake for now._

 

Ibara didn't answer but he just move his body to show Yuzuru his back.

 

“get up. Take off your clothes..” Yuzuru might be ordering him to but he is helping him in the end.

 

After Ibara taking off his jacket and shirt, Yuzuru finally find out about the big wound on his back. The wound looks.. pretty terrible. But that's not all. Several bruise on Ibara's stomach even chest looks untreated as well. Yuzuru can feel that the anger is slowly filling him. “what the f--what are you doing to your body?! Are you planning to kill yourself?! You know it well that the wound like this need you to get plenty of rest and it needs to be cleaned often right? Did you even clean it? And what the f...fuck this bruises even? Is this how you try to keep up with everything? You're going to die at this rate you foolish!”.

Ibara just stared at him “ _i_ don't really care actually”

 

Ibara smiled after he look down “ _i'm_ getting tired, everyone is.. starting to be mad. At this rate its not even controllable anymore. Watching the innocent hurt each other.. is too painful. But what am _i.._ what _i_ can even do..?” he asked as he look at Yuzuru's eyes.

 

Yuzuru never see Ibara like this. Even after Nagisa's death there is still life from him that Yuzuru can feel. but now? The way he talk send him alarming reminiscences of the days in their childhood, he suddenly using _‘ore’_ like those times when theyre still in military camp. But that very exact tone and words… remind Yuzuru about That one time when they end up in battlefield because of the error in system.

 

_Their unit members are dying.. and they were left alone. Ibara looks terrified but he keep dragging the head of their friends. The only things that remains from them._

 

_“just cut it off Ibara. Left them.. we need to hide and run. We can't bring them with us?!”_

 

_Ibara stared at Yuzuru blankly “why not.. they are friends...right… our partner.. we.. need to at least bury them.. properly..”_

 

_as much as he try to act like he can handle this as their leader, Yuzuru understand what Ibara feels.. but still. They need to leave it._

 

_“just.. let them go Ibara..”_

 

_The boy don't listen but he did stop and let the heads fall from his hand. Yuzuru sighed in relief, though what ibara do next is totally unexpected. Ibara hit his own stomach, hard. then start digging the dirt with his knife._

 

_“Ibara! What are you doing! We need to hide!!!!” Yuzuru pulled him out._

 

_“im going to bury them now!”_

 

_Suddenly there is an explosion next to them. Fortunately Yuzuru is fast enough to pull Ibara in a hole and hide._

 

_“.....i...should..have been me who died there..”Ibara stared at the explosion area. Yuzuru noticed how terrible he looks. Ibara looking at him as if he himself is already dead and the body is just moving..controlled by something else “im not the obedient one right commander.. what am i.. what i can even do.. except dragging you to hell”_

 

Its not.. never… Yuzuru just forgetting it. He is forgetting everything related to the traumatizing things in his past. So he can move on and continue his life.

 

After all, the younger him wasnt capable to actually saved ibara. Yes. He did managed to bring ibara back from the battlefield, but he didnt get to protect him from whatever ibara need to face after that because he was pulled back by his family right away. The only thing he can do silently from him were just finding ibara's parents. Ibara might hate them but atleast if yuzuru can support their life from side, he think he might cure that guilt inside him.

 

But fate leads them to different way, he end up finding ibara is a heir of big person in entertainment world. He cant dwell too much but atleast knowing ibara will be in better hands do assure him a lot for him to choose to forget about his well being and focus to his own job and his own future.

 

_Though in the end their fate still crossed again in the middle huh?_

He stared at Ibara, is that why.. instead of acting like his new persona, he tried so hard to helped everyone? Is that why he keep risking his life? Is that why.. he keep taking care of the dead? So that they won't end like their unit mate in past?

 

Yuzuru bites his lower lips..

 

He moved Ibara so that he can take care of his back. There is no word coming from both of them. There is only silence until Ibara start humming song they used to sing in morning jog.

 

Yuzuru can feel his tears start to streaming down his face. He didn't even cry when tori died. Maybe.. he is pretending too much, but that song brings him back to his childhood memory, forced him to going back to his young self. The pain of watching people under his command die. The pain of knowing he don't have any power to save them. All those pain feel the same as the one they are in now.

 

All this madness.

 

do he need to end this war like before..? Hiding for weeks. Dying.. until they are saved?

 

Or will he finally step up?

 

But can he?

 

They probably don't even want to hear him like before. There is no point to moving when its already this late.

 

.

 

“...ru...Yuzuru..thats painful. You're pushing akh! The wound. Thats hurting me!” that voice wake him up from another daydream.

 

Seems like the pain also wake Ibara up from his escape. Which in a way make Yuzuru glad. Because he don't even know how to handle Ibara like that “you deserve it. You love the pain right that's why you keep hitting your body?” he asked with obvious scolding tone.

 

Ibara stay silent before he answer “it's because nothing can keep me sane except the pain. Even if.. someone did. They always get hurt when i'm Away..” Ibara hugged himself as he start coughing again

 

Yuzuru sighed. He finish up his work on ibarra's back and cover him up with the blanket. He make Ibara move to look at him so he can take care of the bruise too. He touched his stomach and carefully checking his condition “you have broken ribs.. it will be worse if you keep doing hard things” he look up at him, looking angry “stop doing this Ibara…”

 

 _‘...wait…’_ Ibara look at him, that sudden anger tone make him feel weird? What is that? Did yuzuru just show his concern to him?

Yuzuru's expression soften as he notice ibara looks troubles by what he said. He wonder why but unconsciously.. he end up saying his inner thought instead _“..._ dont die.. please.. _.._ ”

 

The last word was unexpected for Ibara, making the coughing become worse. Yuzuru need to leave him to grab a water bottle and give him a medicine too as he help him to drink.

 

Ibara can't even respond for that. It feels weird for him to hear Yuzuru saying that. Since they meet again, Yuzuru has been really cold at him and pushing him away. As.. much as it pained him, Ibara never really take it in heart. He try to understand that Yuzuru have his own life now. That they're not even in same side anymore. But sometimes.. it still hurt..

 

Now with Yuzuru suddenly saying that. He don't even know how to react. Yuzuru Carefully putting on balm on his stomach, on his chest. There is no word between them. Just silence.

 

Once Yuzuru done, he helped Ibara to wear his shirt and jacket again. “just stay here tonight.. you need proper rest and i will watch over you”

 

Ibara nodded but then he remember about hiyori and ritsu “i need to take care of natsume-kun and.. telling hiyori denk--”

 

Yuzuru glared at him “i will talk to them later” he pushed Ibara down the bed. “just sleep”

 

Ibara sighed but he peek behind the blanket that Yuzuru covered on him. He about to say a word but Yuzuru suddenly pushed him aside and get on the bed too. He let Ibara lean on him because that way he can sleep while breathing easily. “don't say a word. Rest..”

 

As ibara begin to fall asleep, yuzuru watching that face close. He didnt change that much.. and perhaps even yuzuru's heart also never change since then. He cares about ibara. He want to care about him. But his work dont let him to. Now that he no longer have anyone to protect, is it egoist for him to comeback to ibara? Back to protecting him again? Caring him as much as he could..? So that he can stay alive and make use this useless self for him? Because no, yuzuru dont know what he can do if its not this. Perhaps, the fact that ibara is still alive after all this time and still willing to accept him is the only one thing that do keeping him sane. 

 

He know that this is might be really an egoist wish.. but.. he just hope that this time he can protect him properly, like old days but.. without leaving him alone anymore.

 

_“im sorry... please dont die on me ibara..”_

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to shania who makes the art~


End file.
